While Daddy snoozed 8 glorious, uninterrupted hours in the next room, Layla and I battled her teething pain with lots of back-rubs, tummy-patting, soothing words and cuddles. Oh yes – and let’s not forget, plenty ‘moh-lee’! (As articulate as Layla is, her little tongue isn’t yet able to insert the ‘k’ to officially say ‘milkies’!)
Syringing sickeningly sweet Calpol, in the middle of the night, into the back of your miserable, half-asleep, pain-ridden child’s mouth requires nerves of steel, a surgeon’s precision and at least eight strong arms that can nimbly pin down the shockingly strong thrashings of the multi-limbed toddler-machine in your lap! Layla reacts with such angry shock that she ends of choking on the medicine, even sometimes vomiting it all back up! And that’s why when her teething is at its worst, I will rather snuggle with her and soothe her with my voice, touch and the miraculous cure-all of mohlee. (For each year that a child is breastfed, the chance of dental malocclusions diminish by 40%! And of course there are those children that have been breastfed till 4 who may still need orthodontic intervention, but it’s such a relief to have these nifty little facts on hand when I get shot with those dratted ‘what?!you’re-STILL-breastfeeding?!’ glares!) Also, I would much rather Layla learn to approach people for comfort and succour, than substances or objects. But again, whatever works for you (*wink*)!
When swine-flu paid its overrated but nevertheless still quite nasty visitation upon us, I was terrified that Layla would die (thanks to the sensationalising effects of the media!) but because my body was producing the antibodies, Layla received her very own, private immunisation from me, and hardly suffered at all! She received all the hydration and nourishment she needed from my milk as well, whereas other food or formula/milk would only have exacerbated the vomiting/diarrhoea. In non-Western cultures where breasts are not hyper-sexualised and mothers parent their children in the ‘attachment’ way (i.e. babies and toddlers are carried/worn in slings for most of the day, they sleep with the mother/in a family bed etc.) and there is no cultural ‘norm’ pressurising the child independent before it is ready, children are breastfed until around 6 years old. And – in a marvellously synchronous way, this is the time when a child’s immune system is fully fledged! So when my mom double-checked to make sure we would have an excellent medical aid upon our return to South Africa (in just 2o days’ time!), I could place her overwhelming concern in the Western context where very few children are breastfed, and then usually only until 6 months of age. (Let me just jump off my high-horse to quickly tell you that I was only going to breastfeed till Layla was 6 months – but only because that seemed to be the norm. It was Layla that decided she wanted to keep milking for all I was worth – and I am so, so thankful she did! She has taught me HOW she needs to be parented – and I now look back in amused humility at those last few months before my she was born and all the very definite ideas and expectations I had put together into a disappointingly unrealistic ‘manual of motherhood’ in my head…)
Last week I promised to post some resources that’ve helped and encouraged me along this breastfeeding journey. So, without further ado, here is a list of my favourite websites and books:
- La Leche League: get in touch with them BEFORE you give birth – don’t wait until you’re struggling like me when Layla was 6 months! These very special, kind and informed women have given me the confidence to be Layla’s Mommy that so many well-meaning others unintentionally robbed me of! Here is their page of resources.
- A doctor and mother’s blog with compassionately explained and medically/scientifically backed-up advices: Dr Momma.
- “Why Love Matters: How Affection Shapes a Baby’s Brain” by Sue Gerhardt. (ESSENTIAL reading!!!!)
- “The Fussy Baby Book: Parenting Your High-Need Child from Birth to Five” by William & Martha Sears. (Here is a link to the summarised info on their brilliantly resourceful website, www.askdrsears.com)
- “Mothering Your Nursing Toddler” and “The Motherly Art of Breastfeeding” (wonderfully informative and incredibly reassuring reading!) You can buy both of these books via the La Leche website, and also probably through Kalahari.net.
Please get in touch if you’d like to pick my brains about fine art of mohlee (*wink*)!
Previous Posts:
- Part 1 – The beginning
- Part 2 – Reality Bites
- Part 3
